Tenacious D – Video Games

Who needs drugs when you can trick people’s brains into making their own drugs?

I used to use OK Cupid in my lonely old bachelor days. I got a few nice dinner dates out of it, but they had gaming features that kept you on the site. Veeery counterproductive if you wanted to find a mate.

People thought they could trade up from an 80 percent to a 90 percent match, so you kept seeing the same faces pop up over and over. After meeting my wife, it really seemed like bullshit. My wife and I are practically opposites and we’re stuck together like magnets.

I have actively prevented myself from becoming a gamer, because I don’t think I can handle it. I had issues with simpler games before. I got tendonitis saving the Princess in Mario 3 (twice). I thought Angry Birds and Wordfeud were gonna get me fired. Bathroom breaks can only be so long till the boss notices.

When I first discovered Reddit, I let that take over my life. I became addicted to “karma” and spent hours upon hours trying to figure out how to get more of it.

I finally broke the cycle by nuking my account and getting another one I didn’t care much about. Downvote away…. Same way I kept those apps from getting me in trouble. Deleted the apps.

I also saw a marriage break up because of World of Warcraft, so however legit gaming might be these days, I just can’t.

I know my weaknesses.

Language learning app Duolingo uses gaming features to keep you motivated and it has helped me learn a fair amount of Spanish. I was able to have a basic conversation with a Venezuelan after just under a year.

But again, I have to face it. I have other activities that need my attention. And early arthritis in my thumb…