I always thought it was unfair that we couldn’t give dogs vasectomies or tie their tubes instead of just snippering it all off like they did to our dog Nigel.

Plus it’s a shame we don’t get to have another Nigel. My wife says we ought to clone him, but you know how the nature/nurture deal works. You wouldn’t get the same dog.

Look Mom, no balls!

First we’d have to ween him too soon, so he wouldn’t get along with other dogs. Then we’d have pay someone to and feed him a bunch of hair, so he could go through his hairball stage. Then leave him in a shelter with a bunch of chihuahuas. And THEN adopt him and try to make him into Nigel 2.

Even then it might turn out like the end of The Boys from Brazil, except he’d be the dog instead of the kid.