Nazareth – Hair of the Dog

After locking my keys in the car a few times in college, I found the solution: Why lock the car at all?

I found out on the way home from school one day. I stopped by the mall to see a friend who worked in the sandwich shop. I was only gonna be a minute. Half an hour later I went to the parking lot and I couldn’t find my car. Crap. Forgot where I parked again. That happened a lot.

I went up one row, down another, one row after another for several minutes and still no car. How could I be off by so many rows? Finally, it hit me. Someone stole my car!

Ratt – Round and Round

My Chevy Malibu had a faded paint job, burned oil and sometimes backfired. But it was a passable low rider car especially since it was free for the taking.

I called the police, called Mom and Dad who had to drive an hour to get me. Police said not to be too optimistic.

But what do you know? The car thieves were caught speeding in a school zone in the next town over. They were in jail and we could pick up my car. Sweet.

Except my very expensive college textbooks were missing. The eyedropper I used in biology lab was brown. Someone had smoked a joint through it. Hopefully they swallowed an amoeba.

Then more luck. A school teacher found all my books in a ditch. All I had to do was drop by her school and pick them up. They had permanent stains and my art history textbook had road rash, but they would make it through the semester.

Also, bonus! The joyriders left me a couple of cassettes: Nazareth – Hair of the Dog (score!) and Ratt – Out of the Cellar (OK for hair metal). Still an overall pain in the ass.

After that I kept a wire coat hanger inside my back bumper. It got regular use.