I am an alien. I don’t know how I got here. I arrived when a mousetrap snapped my 2-year-old finger.
Humans laughed at me. This made me very angry, but that’s when I became a human.
I don’t remember what I was before. But I knew my mission: learn how to be human.
Who the hell is this weirdo?
Sometimes I think I understand, I know what being human is, then I realize I don’t get it at all. Like I said, I’m an alien.
Joe Satriani – Surfing with the Alien
I report my findings often. I do it by thinking and words, as I did not arrive with a better method.
Many of my reports have been inaccurate and inconclusive, but I have found many clues. I update with corrections when I can.
Patti Smith – Birdland
This will be an open letter. Please cc the HR department.
To whom it may concern,
Humans have a practice called Yelling At Clouds. They yell by yelling and they yell by writing. They do it to complain about their mission. I believe they have the same mission as mine, but I could be wrong.
When they believe others are impeding their mission, they Yell at Clouds. Like me, they must not have a better way of contacting mission headquarters.
I am now Yelling at Clouds because I have struggled to complete the mission but have not received necessary support. Do I have to do all this by myself?
My complaints are as follows:
Impossible assignment: Learning to be human is exhausting and these units don’t function long enough to complete the mission!
No instructions: Humans give very different instructions when I ask how to be a human. I hope I’ve chosen the right ones, but their instructions keep changing! Who is handing out these assignments?!
No feedback: The mousetrap appears to have been a message from the team, but since then I’ve received nothing. My queries are never answered.
Your inbox must be overflowing with complaints, but I would like a response. I am committed to the mission.
I just want to know: Am I doing this right?
#Aliens, #Humans, #Existence
Late Boomer's Den 